Anguish is a complex feeling. We experience it when mourning for a loved one who passes away. In some ways, we mourn for our past selves as well. I do.

We all know that mistakes happen from time to time. We are told it is okay to make them so we may learn from them. There are however some mistakes that can’t seem to be mended even with time. When we hurt others who love us, mistakes can extract a heavy toll. This leads to unresolved regret.

I’ve made plenty of mistakes in my life so far, both small and big. In most cases, I didn’t acknowledge them. Possibly, because of my pride.

The toll for these mistakes when realized can be life altering. We may learn from them, but the regret comes from not being able to undo them. Over years, I’ve gone down this endless spiral staircase in my mind. I trace the railing with my eyes, and count footsteps with my ears. But I never listened with my heart. I’m not sure I ever have before. There may have been moments, but they were likely very brief.

Referred pain in your heart

This thought occurred to me just now. So often I struggle with internal strife. I feel it through my chest at times, physically. I wonder if this pain maybe referred from the mind.

Referred pain is something you may experience with a compromised neurological system. As an example, you could have physical pain or even numbness in your leg, but it originates from a pinched nerve or herniated disc in the back, lower lumbar. In similar ways, maybe that feeling we get in our hearts, that emptiness is also referred pain.

There are no sensory neurons in the brain. If the mind can’t heal, maybe our hearts are there to provide us warning that we need to do something about it.

We must forgive our minds in order to heal

If there is pain we cannot feel, but our hearts hurt, we likely need to heal the mind. Healing the mind I think may come in the form of forgiveness, possibly forgiveness of the self. I’m not sure, I’m going to look more into this concept of the heart-mind connection. My gut tells me there may be something there.